It's always confounded me why it is that wedding planning is SUCH a female domain.
Actually, maybe I should restate that. I can understand why guys wouldn't be interested in such a vapid waste of time. What astounds me is that women do care so passionately about their weddings, and (sometimes) turn into absolute monsters in the process. I thought that weddings were about two people, so it disturbs me that, once a guy pops a diamond chip on a woman's finger, he steps out of the picture and then the woman is expected to care deeply about flowers and matching dresses and finding a tiara to match her lacy white dress. Who cares? Why not spend some of your time and money on couples' counseling instead of spending 6 hours on the crucial decision of chicken or beef?
In a deliberate search today for wedding planning books targeted to men, I found: nothing. Other than a few creepy books that were talking about the Christian concept of "Jesus as everyone's groom," nada. Implying either than women would freak if a man started working on the wedding, or men don't give a shit. I'm all for gender equality, so this leaves me with two suggestions:
1) Men should step up to the plate and start planning some of their damn wedding rather than leaving it to the woman
2) A lot of the aspects of weddings are a complete waste of time and energy, and women should stop doing them and using them as an excuse to be "so stressed out" and turn into crazy bitches
In general, I lean more heavily on the latter point. Not because I don't think men should work on their weddings, but I just think weddings beyond the basics are stupid in general (personal issue). But I do understand that some people think that elaborate weddings are REALLY important, and in that case, I would suggest that the couple work on the wedding together. It bothers me that the wedding, the first joint venture the husband and wife will undertake, is usually 98% the woman's domain. That really bodes well for the rest of the relationship . . .
If I ever get married, I can guarantee that it will NOT be typical, and not even in the "I want my wedding to be UNIQUE!" way touted on the Lifetime channel by those manicured Barbie brides. It will be simple, and I will not stress out about it. I'd be making a lifetime commitment to my partner, not to the florist or baker. The flowers, the venue, the dress: who really cares? Whatever happened to the wedding being about the people involved? That's what I would hope my wedding would be about.
(Note: I understand that this post takes a very heterosexist view of marriage. I am all for gay marriage. Just as long as the couple work on their wedding equally.)
2 comments:
some thoughts - when I worked as a server at weddings I did learn that EVERY BRIDE thinks that her wedding is DIFFERENT when they are ALL THE SAME.
The only form of guys taking part in their wedding that I know of is the Groom's Cake, which I think is a good idea, because guys and food go well together. A cake is a decision that most guys want in on.
I've dated some men who were VERY expressive about their wedding ideas, such as dress, food, theme etc. I don't think it's EVERYONE, but of course society will cater to the majority.
I completely agree with you though, on the couple sharing the wedding together and that the people that overdo it are missing the point.
I worked as a server for awhile too, and it was so amazing, how everyone was so impressed with themselves and their brilliant uniqueness. . . when in reality each wedding was indistinguishable from the next. I wonder how much they spent on those cookie-cutter weddings, and how many of the couples are still together.
I'd like to see just one "Grooms" magazine or book or something (and not targeted towards gay men). I think it would be fascinating.
Post a Comment